Tuesday, February 19, 2013

God-sized Dreams

I was married before I knew who I was. It was a small church that wasn't mine. It was filled with people who loved us, but doubted our choice for marriage. The reception was in a dive bar. But it was what we could afford and what we thought we wanted. A year and a half later he chose to leave me. I let him go because I didn't want him doing anything he didn't want to do with his whole heart. Especially when it came to me and our baby girl. It has been almost 15 years, many failed relationships for me, a second failed marriage for him. Just before the new year, he chose to come back to me. He had long since apologized for his mistakes and we had become friends, at first for our daughter's sake, then for our own. I realized I never stopped loving him, and I've long since forgiven him for his mistakes. We all make them. The key is to learn from them. We're taking things slow, but I feel better about things this time around. Much better. I know who I am more, I'm more confident in my choices, and I know how to fight for me. Maybe one day we'll make that trip down the aisle again. Doing it the right way. I dream too.