ah, teenagers...

last night monkey told me that she and beatrice have decided reconcile their friendship. i'm glad. i know how much beatrice's friendship meant to monkey, and i was sad to see it go. hopefully things will go better this time. :)

a letter to my bad day

dear bad day,

it was a valient effort you made in trying to make my day horrid. first with the drivers who couldn't decide on what speed they wanted to go, then with the spilled chai while putting my cinnamon in it, and finaly my entire venti chai latte spilling all over the rest of me just before i walked into work. but thanks to friends like princess mikkimoto and susan mercedes, and then all the yummy food at work's breakfast potluck (yes, my quiche was a hit -- they ate it all!) i'm finding it hard to care about you anymore. i know you'll understand. we just can't be together today. in the effort to leave you with a positive comment, please try again another time. things like being on time for work make your job just too difficult. i'm sorry. can we still be friends?

cordially,

zeghsy

p.s. on second thought, i'd rather not be friends with you. don't take it personally. it's not you, it's me.

p.p.s. wait, it IS you. you understand. please do not contact me again.

oh the drama!

i have to say, i'm pretty happy i'm not a tween anymore. monkey is having trouble with her bestie, beatrice. it seems there was a misunderstanding. poor monkey is flumoxed. she has apologized for her end. she told beatrice she would like one in return for the hurt she caused monkey. unfortunately beatrice doesn't seem to think she needs to offer one. monkey says she's always been the one to have to apologize when they fight. my advice was for monkey to let beatrice know, again, that she is truely sorry for any hurt she's caused but that she would like an apology and that she still wants to be friends. i'm sorry to say that i think this might be the end of them as besties. monkey has put up with a lot from beatrice lately. this might be it if beatrice can't unbend. i feel bad for my monkey. she's a sweet, caring, sensitive girl. i hate to see her in pain because of friends.

*update: i have changed monkey's bff's name to respect her privacy.

problems? no, not really

so now that i'm doing the whole "better living through chemistry" (for the record, i did pick up more meds, thanks for y'all who worried), i've discovered i don't have as much to say.

i'm leading a pretty boring life. funny though, i don't feel bored. i go home after work and i hang out with monkey. we watch our shows. we do the laundry. we play with the cats. we play spider solitaire and try to beat each others' percentages. i have grand plans of painting our bedrooms and finally getting the house cleaned. these are long term plans.

ok, so maybe it's not boring to me and just boring to others. that's fine. i'm not asking you to live my life. i like what's going on in my life right now. it's good. i'm dating vicariously through princess mikkimoto and sizzlesays. i'm vicariously being a mom to a baby (he turns 1 this saturday -- happy birthday little dude!) of sweetie-pie. and i'm pregnant, vicariously again, through barbie. she's due in april. it's a boy. i'm ecstatic! so i'm having fun in my own way.

not to worry internet. i'll keep you updated. i'm sorry if it's not exciting for you. things always change. who knows. right?

update...

so the senator is talking again. here's hoping he remembers i want to help when and where i can, but that i can't if he doesn't tell me he needs it. i can understand the feeling that he shouldn't have to ask for help, that he should be able to do it all on his own. but if he can't ask me for help, the woman he wants having his babies, who is he able to ask?

during all of this, i asked my bff for the reminder he gave me the last time this happened. i said i was hurting because of this, and his response was "how is he hurting you? by not talking to you for a little while?" that was received yesterday, mid-day. i still want to rip his head off and scream down his throat. so, no, there hasn't been a response from me.

while the bff seems to think i'm blowing this out of proportion, i have another friend who can't understand why i'm putting up with it and still with the senator. but then he doesn't seem to understand depression and other mental illnesses. he certainly doesn't understand mine.

i want to continue making the plans for monkey and i to move to georgia. but i can't in good conscience do that until i feel more stable in our relationship. and yes, i've told the senator this. here's hoping it doesn't spark another silence. in the meantime, i'll try to plan a summer trip out there. maybe with monkey, maybe not. *sigh*

so tired... zzzzz

i did it again. went out on a wednesday night and stayed up FAR too long. in my defense, it was a friend's birthday (happy birthday again sweetie!!!) and there was this amazing musician? performer? live p.a.? i have no idea what the "label" this guy. whatever. i can't care. he was freaking cool. heatbox. this man IS HIS INSTRUMENT. he beat boxes and everything (and i mean EVERYTHING) he did last night he made it all with his voice. i bought his cd. with my last $10. until tomorrow. but still. that means, i'm more than likely going without lunch today. i'll live. i'm so grooving to the music. trying to figure out which song i want to dance to. all of them?

plus i got to hang out with my bff and he's just fun.

she is SO right...

over at katie i am, she had this post today. wow... that is me for the last 2½ weeks to the T. like exactly. i hate it. i'm utterly disgusted with myself when i'm this way. it's sad, gross, obnoxious and i can't stop it when i want to. which is, by the way, now. five minutes ago. last week. i've made, what i think, are a couple of (hopefully) forgivable mistakes (slight dramatics and a bit of over-reacting). because even if he and i don't work out as a couple, he's still a really cool person and i've had nothing but fun with him. plus... if he still wants, i still want a freaking dance partner and the couple things i've showed him, he's picked up better than anyone i've seen so far. (hmm, possibly bad grammar. whateves, can't care at the moment.) anyway... i'm literally champing at the bit to be patient and give him his "space". not that he asked for it, in so many words, but it's obvious he wants it.

so, on with life. i'm still making my plans. still doing my thing. still going out and seeing my friends (for the record, the friend who introduced us, mine first). turns out the guy who introduced us, he's my new bff. that's right, i said BFF. what are you gonna do about it? nothing, that's right. none of my other bffs are losing their place. they're still my bffs too. he's just the newest one. it's like new shoes. you want to wear them all the time at first. well, i want to hang out with him all the time. i settle for friday nights and some saturday nights. :)

tonight. monkey and i are taking barbie out for her birthday dinner. i'm very excited for it. :D

update: barbie got called into work tonight. hmph. no birthday dinner tonight. SHOESANDSOCKS!

long lost friends

so i screamed when she walked in the door. i was afraid she'd forgotten about me or didn't need me anymore, or worse. barbie is back. and this time i'm not letting her go again.