Yippee, I win.

Oh joy. I'm so glad I won. Please read this in a very heavy sarcastic accent. I didn't want to win. But I won't allow someone to treat me the way I was treated. I'm out. You suck. You know who you are. Just remember, what you put out in the world comes back to you. Heavier and harder. Karma's a bitch and she does not like being fucked with. Oh, and we're tight. Like totes besties.

See you never, loser.

How nauseating...

Ex-boyfriends that just don't get that you're over them and they just need to leave you the fuck alone are some of the most irritating things in the world. I've moved on. I told him that I never wanted to hear from him or speak to him again. And what does he do, he emails me. What a dumbass.

Sledge hammer teaching methods

Is there an easier way to get ideas into thick skulls? That is without using a sledge hammer. I've heard that is kind of frowned upon. Which is lame, because I know so many who would benefit from a little correction via sledge hammer. And in that case a little goes a long way.

Spoilers, sweetie

I just got finished watching some Doctor Who. Yes I'm a nerd. I thought we all knew that. Moving on. The Doctor makes me think about the strangest things. Like when am I going to get a sonic screwdriver. I am quite sure I would find one of those terribly handy. Fix all manner of things with that. Or why has American sentence structure gone so far from English sentence structure. And why we don't say brilliant or rubbish more often. Or torch. I'd be much happier if we called flashlights torches.

But then he makes me think about time and space.

And then I think I may not be able to settle for just some human man. But that I'll need a mad man in a blue box as well. I don't have a Rory. No Last Centurion for me. But I could be the girl who waited. But only for The Doctor.

Like I said. He makes me think the strangest things.

If a Man Wants You - DivineCaroline

A friend of mine shared this on Facebook. It was EXACTLY what I needed to see. I want to share it with all of you as well.

A New Cake Recipe

The preceding post is brought to you by my absolutely shitty love life. It's no longer complicated, it's just non-existent. I have that song on repeat. Have since yesterday after work. I got the email at 11:30pm Tuesday night. Coward.

But the song isn't to feed my depression. Its to remind me I came from so much worse than this and became stronger and more beautiful. My bounce will be back soon. You'll see the fierce me.

A friend just said to me, "If you make a cake the same way and it's wrong, of course you end up with a crappy cake every time. We have to look at your recipe and how you bake it." So, I'm getting a new cake recipe. Any suggestions would be welcome.

I allowed myself to wallow yesterday. All black, sunglasses in the office, crying the whole way home. I'm done now. Onward and upward. I knew when this started I wouldn't let it consume me like it had before.

Take a good look buddy. You lost all this and more. You've made your bed, I hope you like laying in it for eternity. 

I Found A Boy

I thought I told you, he'd be home soon
Couldn't help myself, you're too good to be true.
I fall short each time,
Every time he ain't here,
You and your charm creep closer, closer in here,
Like a fool for fire I fall, with my pride and all.
Like a bomb before explosion,
Ticking by your call.
You're the wiser one, disguised from greed,
And I'm just a child who belongs on her knees.

But I found a boy who I love more,
Than I ever did you before,
So stand beside the river I cried,
And let yourself down!
Look how you want me now that I don't need you.

So, you thought that I would crumble to my knees
At the first sight of you, crawling back to me
To whisper "will you leave your man?"
Cause you swear that this time you can stand by me. I won't stand by you.

Cause I found a boy who I love more,
Than I ever did you before,
So stand beside the river I cried
And let yourself down!
Look how you want me now that I don't need you.

I ain't yours for no taking,
You must be mistaken
I could never look in your eyes, and settle for wrong
And ignore the right

Well I found a boy who loves me more,
Than you ever did me before.
So stand beside the river you'll cry
And let yourself down!
Look how you want me now that I don't need you.

-Adele

The difficult thing

First, I'm not quitting. I just can't think of anything to say. I'd talk about my love life, but it's complicated and not necessarily my story to share. Nothing really worth sharing happens at work anymore. Monkey is taking her teenage years seriously and we're hitting it like a brick wall. I'd share tidbits about her but we haven't had the "Mom you can't blog about me anymore. Gawd! You're ruining my life-a!" talk. I don't cook. I don't live on a ranch. I am crazy, but other than messing with my love life, it's pretty well under control. *sigh* I'm sure il come up with something. Just bought you'd like to know I was still alive and kicking.

Brilliant. Off to bed for me now. Dance class tomorrow and then a date. Still not sure if I want this date. I'll go. I'm just not sure it will be everything we're thinking it will be. And we have fairly different ideas on how it will go.

And where are all the guns?

What the hey?! I'm starting to rethink this whole idea of getting back into dating. Apparently I'm having the darnedest time find someone decent and works similar hours to me. The latest one and I talked a good long time before we got around to even making a date. But he manages a bar/restaurant meaning he works most nights and every weekend. I was supposed to meet him after work yesterday, but I slept through it. I didn't mean to. I even set an alarm. But at 1am, I don't function so well when I have to get up at 6:30am. *sigh*

Wha?

I let my guard down for five minutes and someone comes in a kicks me right in the ego. The last year, I have spent my time doing things I wanted to do, making sacrifices only I felt truly necessary (close friends and family). He came to me timidly, seeming very sweet and kind. He's a gentleman. He treated me with nothing but kindness and understanding. Sadly, he has already given up on "us". Not even a first date to have gone wrong. We work differing hours and he felt it would be too hard to see each other. Yes, I had to pick my jaw up too. Even when I've dated people who work the same hours as me, I've had trouble seeing them all the time. I do things after work. Monkey has ballroom and other activities. My feelings are hurt. He was the first guy in a long time I've bothered to put any effort in. But I draw the line at putting all the effort and getting none in return. *sigh*