The difficult thing

First, I'm not quitting. I just can't think of anything to say. I'd talk about my love life, but it's complicated and not necessarily my story to share. Nothing really worth sharing happens at work anymore. Monkey is taking her teenage years seriously and we're hitting it like a brick wall. I'd share tidbits about her but we haven't had the "Mom you can't blog about me anymore. Gawd! You're ruining my life-a!" talk. I don't cook. I don't live on a ranch. I am crazy, but other than messing with my love life, it's pretty well under control. *sigh* I'm sure il come up with something. Just bought you'd like to know I was still alive and kicking.

Brilliant. Off to bed for me now. Dance class tomorrow and then a date. Still not sure if I want this date. I'll go. I'm just not sure it will be everything we're thinking it will be. And we have fairly different ideas on how it will go.

I feel like I've "arrived"

I received my first spam comment. I feel like I'm on the red carpet of the blogging world. It was in Russian, and talked politics (which I NEVER do) and was NOTHING about my post. I think it would have only been better if it had told me I could increase the size of my penis and/or helped out my long lost, gazillionaire uncle from Uganda.

So you want to make a resolution

There has been a lot of talk about resolutions lately. None of it from me. Usually, I don't make them for myself. The things I've always thought I should change about me I figured I change them or I wouldn't. A resolution wouldn't make me do it any more or less than deciding mid-year to make a change. However, I'm picking the beginning of the new year to make this change. I want to be healthier, better. To do that, I have to start with my space. It will start small, but I intend to make my space mine. I've been in my house for over 6 years and not once have I felt comfortable having guests over or really felt like it was my home. I'm changing that. I know me though. I may want it done by the end of the week, but if I can't do it "the right way" I won't do it. I'm going to focus on the small things I can do and gradually make them bigger until one day I look around here and proudly say, "Sure stop by whenever," and NOT cringe.

I may be small now, but I'll get bigger one day.

Yes it snowed. That's what it does here.

My lovely friend, Princess Mikkimoto, has offered some thoughts on driving in our area in this snowy season. She's right, it isn't winter yet. Quit whining. It's Wisconsin, what do you expect?

I would like to offer that some of that white stuff on the road is neither snow nor ice. It's actually salt. If it is white in appearance, it is safe to drive the speed limit on. If that is not to your liking, get the hell out of the left lane. Better yet, if you're too scared to drive the speed limit on almost all of the roads currently, stay home. You're sure to NOT be eaten by a snow bank monster then. Also, if the road is straight and you're not anticipating a turn in the next 6 miles, you can go a bit faster (this is not permission to speed), as 25 in a 55 is a tad on the poky side.

I'm new and old fashioned all rolled into one gal

Get rid of my books? Not hardly!

book shelf project 1 ~ striatic {notes}

I have an e-reader already. After a fashion. I have an iPod Touch with all the e-reader apps on it. I get the free books, so I always have something to read. Growing up as a librarian's daughter, a book always lived in my bag. Now it's just a lot lighter. I still read paper books. You can't get an author or illustrator (Mom's a children's librarian) to sign your e-book. A real book is a much more fun way to receive a gift. I love the convenience of having e-books though. I will never get rid of my books, it's sentimental for too many. But I won't say "never".

Early onset?

I miss my blog. I remember the good times when I had something witty and cute to say. Or when I had something to vent about and the internet patted me on the back and said that everything would be ok. I miss that. Now I can't remember the cute things my kid does more than 10 minutes after Monkey does them. It's sad.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone

I miss my laptop. The fan died. (A moment please.) I'm working on getting it replaced. But because I have almost no money, it has to be on the cheap. So I'm waiting to order parts from Singapore. I didn't realize how convenient having it was. Think of something blab about, hop online. Poof, instant post. Instead I'm left with either pecking something out on my Touch or firing up the slowest computer left. I'm reluctant to posh at work anymore. Even though I'm farming ALL the time. I miss is. A new one isn't in my budget. Thankfully I don't have sponsors to worry about yet. *Le sigh.*

More suggestions, please

In the effort to actually get on a working budget, I'm trying to track my spending. My mother would just say, "Use a piece of paper." I'm far too gadgety for that. Can anyone recommend an app for easy tracking of spending? Specifically cash. I'd like it to total for me as well. Yah, coz I'm lazy like that. This would be for my iPod. While I love my BlackBerry, it's a pain to load apps on it. Tiny memory. Sheesh.

Feed readers

I downloaded the reader my dad recommend for my iPod Touch. It's great but I don't think I can comment on posts. I like being able to do that.

Any other recommendations for a reader for my Touch that will let me comment? Man I miss being online at work. This blows tiddlywinks.

Frustration

My blogwriter on my iPod just ate my post about today. Grr...

boo hiss

i don't like this one bit. I'm going to miss everyone except for the 45 minutes i'll be allowed online. i can guarantee y'all this won't improve productivity. it'll just make us all crankier. and i can now say that since i won't be blogging at work anymore. hmph.

a letter to my bad day

dear bad day,

it was a valient effort you made in trying to make my day horrid. first with the drivers who couldn't decide on what speed they wanted to go, then with the spilled chai while putting my cinnamon in it, and finaly my entire venti chai latte spilling all over the rest of me just before i walked into work. but thanks to friends like princess mikkimoto and susan mercedes, and then all the yummy food at work's breakfast potluck (yes, my quiche was a hit -- they ate it all!) i'm finding it hard to care about you anymore. i know you'll understand. we just can't be together today. in the effort to leave you with a positive comment, please try again another time. things like being on time for work make your job just too difficult. i'm sorry. can we still be friends?

cordially,

zeghsy

p.s. on second thought, i'd rather not be friends with you. don't take it personally. it's not you, it's me.

p.p.s. wait, it IS you. you understand. please do not contact me again.

from this point forward...

i hereby banish drama from our lives.

coz frankly i'm sick of it. i have had enough of it to last 10 lifetimes. i am done. done i tell you!

we'll have no more of you, drama. begone. leave and never return.

i know, it's a bit over the top. but, that's what i feel like i need to say. it's my space, i can do that.

problems? no, not really

so now that i'm doing the whole "better living through chemistry" (for the record, i did pick up more meds, thanks for y'all who worried), i've discovered i don't have as much to say.

i'm leading a pretty boring life. funny though, i don't feel bored. i go home after work and i hang out with monkey. we watch our shows. we do the laundry. we play with the cats. we play spider solitaire and try to beat each others' percentages. i have grand plans of painting our bedrooms and finally getting the house cleaned. these are long term plans.

ok, so maybe it's not boring to me and just boring to others. that's fine. i'm not asking you to live my life. i like what's going on in my life right now. it's good. i'm dating vicariously through princess mikkimoto and sizzlesays. i'm vicariously being a mom to a baby (he turns 1 this saturday -- happy birthday little dude!) of sweetie-pie. and i'm pregnant, vicariously again, through barbie. she's due in april. it's a boy. i'm ecstatic! so i'm having fun in my own way.

not to worry internet. i'll keep you updated. i'm sorry if it's not exciting for you. things always change. who knows. right?

better living through chemistry

amen! i know the meds have helped me get over the whole stupid ex-boyfriend (who completely messed up my life and head) but now they seem to be actually helping my mood. i'm not so angry. i don't have that burning hatred of everything. there are plenty of things i still don't like, but i don't hate them. the co-workers for instance. one still gets on his high horse far too often for my liking, but this week... rolled right off me. the other one was sick this week. and it didn't bother me. let me repeat for those of you in the back. THE SICK CO-WORKER DIDN'T BOTHER ME. at all. i love my meds. i'm working at remembering to take them. before bed. so i don't notice the nausea one gives me. now, if only i had the money to actually get them every month. *sigh*

cool contest to win free groceries from cozi.com

hey, i just entered this contest on cozi.com to win free groceries for a year. all you have to do is put in your email address. even if you don't enter, please click the link to help me win (i get an extra entry for telling y'all). considering everyone i know is struggling this year, i figured this can't hurt, right? feel free to click over and enter for your chance. the more the merrier! thanks. click here to enter!

p.s. if you win, i want dinner at your house one night. :D

decisions

this started out as me blabbing about how i want things but cost/funds is not working out just now. i've changed my mind.

i've been making decisions.

these are the kind of decisions you don't really realize you're making, until they've been made and you actually put them into action.

january 1st, i let go of some friendships that were no longer healthy for me. it's a start. i was never really sure why we were friends in the first place. so, i chose to end them. i don't know if they noticed. i don't care. this is my life and i'm done with not being happy with it.

color me

laura coulter

i would wear black. i always wear black. it's slimming (come on, who doesn't feel they could shed a pound or two). it suits almost all occasions. it can be dressed up and be straight up classy, or it can be just as comfy and casual as can be. most of my wardrobe is already black. as a plus, i look really good in black. :) i'm lucky enough to have a skin tone that is complimented by wearing black. sadly, i will never be a blond. funny side note: i was with another stylist -- mine was attending to a family emergency, never fear, i am loyal to my bradley -- and i asked matthew about going blond. he announced there is a shade of blond for everyone. "except you." to which i giggled, and everyone else in the business in the room looked at me, and agreed.

so i wear black.

*note: i WISH i had this dress. it is fabulous!

oh, one more thing...

the senator and i are kaput. princess mikkimoto and more... knew that already. from our rockin' version of blogher '09, the madison version.

it wasn't the miles between us. it was the distance. you can't shut someone out for weeks at a time and expect them to always be there. even a dog would leave. it doesn't help that i've been finding out things about him that would have made our relationship impossible, even if he was living next door. never fear, we're going to remain friends. no really. he needs someone who will stick around through his crap and i need more ppl who love me no matter what.

now it's been said. *sigh*

dancing machine

what's the best place to go blow off steam?

the dance floor. anywhere i can find music and the space i need.

why do you go here when you need to unwind?

dancing is my release. i can think, work through problems. it's my "quiet" time. except i crank the music and move.