say good-bye

cute boy (aka cabana boy) has left. i think. i'm getting all sorts of information about him that definitely makes me glad nothing happened beyond some wishful thinking. it's ok. he was young. :) i never really expected anything to come of it anyway.

because they're always 100% correct

i took a facebook quiz to find out what i should be for halloween. a princess. hmm...

so i went shopping to find a princess dress. the first one didn't fit. it really would have been perfect. instead i found a black one and a red one. both full length. both strapless. both fit pretty dang perfect. both $10 each. thank you goodwill! i called cb for assistance in choosing one, he preferred the red one, but was really no help. so i got both. they need to be cleaned. whoever wore them last used A LOT of deodorant. i mean A LOT. i don't have any parties lined up, but i like dressing up. and maybe cb will be smart and invite me to one. otherwise i have two new dresses i can use for ballroom events.

i'm hoping for a date with cb tomorrow night. i hope.

last night L-word guy tried chatting. i'm cleaning this weekend. my house this time. i don't think he liked that. then later, he sends me texts saying he's near my neck of the woods. which caused me to start thinking awful things, like him stopping by my house (for the record: he does not know where i live, just the name of the town). that made my brain kick into overdrive and this cascade of crap started coming out of it. well i nipped that in the bud. no way was i going to get mad at him for something my whacked out brain came up with. sleeping pill: 1. crazy thoughts: 0. now i just feel thick today. not hungover, with the bad gross-ness feeling. thick.

according to silver b, cb and i just need to "get it on" and i'll calm down. hello?! don't you think that's what i want to happen!?! any day now please.

let me explain...

ok. so, as you all know the senator and i are no more. it's ok. we're still pals and everything is hunky dory between us.

after that, i went on plenty of fish.com and looked around. apparently most of the guys on there (or at least the ones that messaged me) seem to think that "hi" or massively misspelled and incomplete sentences are acceptable and should have me falling at their feet. now, i don't claim to be a grammar guru, but i'm a fan of mostly proper english. or at least spell check. in any case, i managed to find a couple of guys worth replying to.

one was a dud. we met for the date (i'm glad i had to reschedule our first one -- not really worthy of dance -- is that bad? tough.). you know the music on almost every game show when you choose wrong or don't win the prize? THAT music went through my head when i saw him. bad, i know. well, i went through with it. you know, just in case. it was probably the only date i've ever been on where i thought getting home at 11pm was too late. he kept wanting to leave to go dancing somewhere. i couldn't think of anywhere he would feel comfortable. besides, it wasn't dancing he wanted to do, it was the highschool grind. bleh.

the other one (who technically was the first) was better. we clicked and have gone on a few more dates. however he was the guy who prompted this post. wants to move WAY too fast for me. which says to me, we're not getting the same thing from one another. yes, i like him. a lot. yes, i'd like to continue seeing him. but not seriously. he already threw out the "L" word.
*crickets*
... awkward ...
i've tried talking to him about how i'm feeling that he's moving faster than i'm comfortable with and that i don't feel that way about him yet. what's remained unspoken is that if he continues this way, i won't feel this way about him, ever. but it's always that next sentence. he has to know, right?

there's one more. cute boy. we've gone on a few dates. i actually started seeing him first (if we want to be technical). he makes me twitterpated. it's the best explanation for how i feel about him. i'm well aware of how goofy he makes me look. i forget to breathe around him. remember how we all used to get in school when it came to boys? he always touches my arm, plays footsie with me, or holds my hand whenever we're together. all i'm capable of is giggling and looking like a fool. he must find that endearing because he keeps calling and making dates.

i have a date with cb tonight. i have no idea what we're going to do. we've planned only one (this will be no. 4) but i'm not worried about it. i'd actually prefer to just go to his place and watch a movie, but he might not be ready for me to come over yet. we were only a few blocks from his place at our last date, no invitation was extended. we'll see i guess.

twitterpated

think bambi. cute boy (or cabana boy, as one of the mom's from dance thinks i should call him) just called me at work. for the record, THIS is how one should feel when starting out with someone. we've only gone on a few dates, and i'm aware enough that doesn't mean anything relationship-wise. (read: this post -- someone still doesn't get it.) he makes my heart race and i can't keep from blushing. today he was trying to get me to come out to where he works to fix a printer. it's not really part of my job and i have to go up front in a few minutes to cover the front desk for the afternoon. he also wants me to be his boss. again... his boss has control issues and would freak the hell out if i suddenly became cb's boss. though, well... you can guess where my head just went. *blush*