because i apparently pay such close attention...

welcome to post # 102. :) -- duh me.

my weekend:

friday, after two quick errands and nails (seriously cut down, i'm tired of stabbing myself with my talons -- rawr!), i drove to the lovely appleton area. neenah to be exact. my lovely friend silver b just moved into a cute little house with his cousin. they think it's small. HA! i could fit my bed room in their kitchen. hating just a little. anywho... silver b was taking me dancing. not just clubbing either. actual ballroom dancing. at a ballroom! lots of fun. i didn't dance quite as much as i would have liked to, but definitely more than i would at a regular friday night party. two dances with other guys, the rest with b. of course it wasn't until the last dance that i finally start getting his leads better. *sigh* that just means i have to go visit a lot more often. :D and when i finally get to meet his gf (work got in the way this weekend), he'll be totally pimpin'. *snicker*

speed and i saw the dark knight saturday, imax'd. i 'just' caught the trailer for watchmen -- whoa. dk was everything i had hoped for. (to the movie gods above) thank you for not disappointing me. how come everyone didn't like 'the batman' voice? um... you put a suit on like that and expect to talk normally. sheesh. hello, IT FIT THE ROLE. and for those of you who couldn't understand him (i've read blogs that said that?!?!), turn around and tell the amazingly huge people who climbed to the top of the theatre to stop snorting their popcorn so they stop sounding like they're having sex during the movie. duh, sex happens because of batman, not during.

speed is at a work conference in d.c. this week. his plane left freakishly early sunday morning and being the good friend i am, i took him to the airport. we left his place at 5:15am. ugh. the sun was completely up by the time i got home and marti would not stop licking. grr...

my brother was supposed to have moved here back in april. then he was supposed to have moved to texas this weekend. well he's still in northern va. even if it's for a few months, i'd love for him to come here. it's only a little detour... i miss him. a lot. send him love.

i was supposed to have spent the weekend with socrates. i didn't. things are... on hold between us, as usual. as long as he's being honest with me, i'm still cool with things.

national night out -- TONIGHT?!?!?

i know it's national night out. but i'd really like a night IN. there laundry to be done, old episodes of grey's anatomy to be watched (and subsequently cried over), and a special monkey to be cuddled. plus oodles of photos still to be edited from showcase. a night out? i don't think it's going to happen.

then there's the whole deal with my weekend now. am i going to appleton to see socrates or is he coming down to visit his family and spend a few hours with me? i would prefer me going there. i get much more time with him PLUS i get the added bonus of hanging out with my new buddy silver b. i guess we'll talk about it more later this week. but at the moment, i'm not happy with the direction my weekend (that i've been planning for 3 weeks now) seems to be going.

sucky...

i hate that i miss him so much. i called him last night. he just called me back. disappointed? yah, i was but hey, shit happens. now i want to cry.

we had made plans for me to go see him this weekend, but now he says he might be coming down here to see family. while that's cool (petrol is freaking expensive after all), i was looking forward to not being around here, getting away, and i had made some plans with new friends up by him for friday night.

there's the time. i didn't see him until almost 1am last time. if he wants to go dancing, we really can't wait that long. we had an issue with rude dancers last time and it colored our evening. i don't want to sit around doing nothing all day and most of the night, while i wait for him. (yes, i know. i shouldn't wait for any man to call. i should just go and do the thing i want.) also, i want to be able to just be alone with him.

i love each and every moment i have with him. but sometimes, i kind of wish he hadn't called me again. my life really wouldn't be any different. i'm trying to live, not hoping for him. i mean, i have speed here. he and i aren't ready for more. while socrates and i want more, he can't give it to me, yet. if ever. so i take his friendship and i don't ask for more.

disappointed. yah. enough that my lesson tonight will be a little difficult.

storms

i'm having one of those nights. some people can see the clouds rolling in. they know to take shelter. me. i'm not sure i'm that lucky. i don't usually know there's a storm coming until it's hit and i'm standing in the eye of the storm or looking at the aftermath. i'm sitting in the living room, in the dark, waiting for it to go away.

thank you. to all of you. you help me be reminded that everyone has a very real life and they're ugly and messy and great and amazing and full of beautiful moments that make you appreciate it all. so thank you. you make the storms a little more bareable.


*note: this was heavily edited to take out all the crap that a) i'm not sure i'm completely ready to share, b) all the crap in general, and c) the rambling that is my "voice". this is the essence of what i wanted to say.

irritations of today

my co-worker and i (for all intents and purposes) share one office. there is a door between us, but having it closed would end up recquiring a far lengthier explanation then i ever want to deal with. however when i'm in a bad mood, which i seem to sadly be in today, i want for him to just be quiet and/or stay away. instead, i get to hear him be a complete dick to someone because the system that answers and routes his call to a particular mobile phone company takes too long. it's not their fault he doesn't know how to send photos from the phone to someone's email. (it is work related.) if it's not exactly like jm wants it, it must be all wrong. today, 'pal' you're a jackass.

OW!

what the?!? no thank you. that just makes my uterus hurt more than it already does. sheesh...

and just a show of hands... how many of you have had to make that frantic (and embarrassing) trip to the store quick for a change of panties? i just did that today. ugh. so not cool.

*sorry guys.

happy birthday!

today is socrates birthday. no not THE socrates, my socrates. both really cool guys, i just know mine a little better. plus he's not, you know, dead. i called this morning to wish him a happy birthday. i woke him up. oops. i know he went back to sleep. i'm excited. i saw him saturday. and i get to see him again in 17 days. that's when he'll get his birthday present. i still have to figure out what that's going to be. i also need to be smart. i need pictures of him.

weekend recap

friday, dress rehearsal. i think i stopped shaking after drink 5. i was at the bar by then. *sigh* but i got to see two good friends that i haven't seen in a while, and flirted shamelessly with my favorite bartender. since it's mutual flirting, it's lots of fun. :) it never hurts that he loves knowing i ballroom dance. who'd have thought that's such a turn-on for a non-dancer? stayed up way too late talking with him.

saturday. at bar time friday, i'd gotten a text from socrates saying that he was coming to see his family and wanted to see me. i spent the day sleeping and drove to mineral point to see him that night. it's SO SO SO nice to show my rehearsal video of my foxtrot to him. i get 6 years of teaching ballroom advice, all to myself. tips shared: look in the direction of my traveling spins, keep my head outside partner (almost) in my pivots, core core core. did i mention he said to keep my core toned? coz he mentioned it. nothing like getting pointers in teeny bar in mineral point, wi. we gave them something to talk about though. :) food for conversation.

sunday. slept again most of the day. i didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning. speed called when he got home from his tubing trip with his cousin. he was hungry. after being awake for about 5 minutes, i discovered i was too. grabbed some eats. sir hobo's is not as bad as the name would make you think. watched 300. violent. but yummy digitally enhanced bods.

now i'm suffering for my play. i'm so tired and my sinuses are killing me. oh well. i can rest when i'm dead. :D

check it out

unless you're a creepy grossy stalker person. then stay away.

my monkey has a blog. well, we have a blog. it's hers, but i'm the responsible adult in charge. yah, whatever.

it's my turn to talk

be nice, she's my girl.

theatre geeks

last night monkey and i went to janesville to see joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat with nana. great show. the cast was really good. we particularly enjoyed joseph (robert mentele). so much so that monkey wanted his autograph and a picture with him. :)

she really liked him.

in her defense, this guy has a great voice and will hopefully make something of himself. he just graduated magna cum laude from uw-whitewater with a degree in theatre design technology. good luck robert! (nana can attest to it being hard to be theatre major. she got her bachelor degree in theatre. i remember getting these lovely sparklie silver shoes after beauty and the beast was over. best dress up shoes ever.)

congratulations to cast and crew of joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat on your opening night. break a leg on the rest of the show!

i'm hoping to be able to get her interested in other theatre as well. we're going to see if she wants to try out for next summer's show. :)

out of the woodwork

standing outside the studio tonight, chatting with loud, (omg i love her bicycle!) when who pulls up but the sergeant. i haven't seen him in forever. wow... he's redeploying in a few months. more worry.

socrates called saturday night. he didn't sound good. i hope he talks about it with me. i worry about him. a lot. i think he forgets how important to me he is. i can understand. he's dealing with a lot of things. stuff i wish i could just make go away for him. i know he has to do it himself. but i'm not sure how often i'm allowed to remind him, i want to hold his hand so he knows he's not alone. plus opposite shifts and being two hours apart ($4.07 a gallon! wtf!) doesn't make it easier.

speed and i went to the art fair on the square, saturday. we made it through most of it before we decided we were done. i bought my mom a mug. pink. with a flamingo. she'll love it. :) we looked a lots and lots of very cool stuff. we definitely like the photographers the best. then i made him go to the cardinal with me. he was reluctant at first but we ended up having a great time. i was good and remembered to introduce him to everyone. i'm usually really bad at that. the fun continued... sunday after lunch, we took what ended up being a 3 hour nap. WHEW!

*squee!*

a box came for me today.


guess where it was from.

guess what was in it.


needless to say, i'm ecstatic. they took so long, and now they're finally here. i love them.

(yes, i'm sleeping with them tonight. just like the kids do.)

ma shoes!

they're coming. FINALLY! i was lucky enough to win a $100 gift certificate to dancesavvy.com this spring. it took me close to two weeks to decide what i wanted. i hadn't really thought i was in the market for shoes at the time. ballroom shoes being rather expensive, i've been trying to actually wear mine out first.

these shoes? these shoes are a special yummy summer treat. hopefully in time for showcase!
i figured that at some point, i would own red dance shoes. the free-ness of them just made it happen that much faster.

these babies however, i know i would have never bought them on my own. these are my super awesome special yummy FREE shoes. these are what make me want to sing maestro c. from dancesavvy's praise.

i can't wait for them to arrive. believe me, you'll know when they do. there will be photos!

knitty nation

knitting 004, originally uploaded by zeghsy.

i kept typing knitty instead of knitting everytime i've tried to type about this. sheesh! my first attempt. monkey taught me. i'm stoked. i can knit.

lots of mistakes and do-overs, but i've been dying to knit since i started reading verypink.

happy birthday monkey!

today is monkey's birthday. she turns 11. so far, 11 isn't bugging me. though it has only been a few hours since 11 has been awake. 11 also looks amazingly just like 10 did last night. still not showered. why do they do that and when can i start to expect to have to kick her out of the bathroom? in any case, she was excited to bring cupcakes to her summer school classes this morning (fun ones, the classes and the cupcakes) to share with her mates. tonight our plans will include eating more cupcakes, some fried chicken, and just generally having fun. oh, and a shower for her.