what we do when we're bored

well, with the recent snow day we had, monkey and i watched all of the recorded shows we had on our dvr. so what do two couch potatoes do when there's nothing to watch? find new movies! since the beginning of my vacation, we have watched (not necessarily in this order) "four christmases" (funny, didn't go anywhere, but funny), "julie & julia" (good but made us both really hungry), "my life in ruins" (also funny, makes me want to travel and find my 'kefi'),"night at the museum 2, battle of the smithsonian" (little wax people kicking arse make me giggle), "the ugly truth" (monkey was surprised to find that the guy was also the phantom), and "up" (seriously, has pixar done anything bad yet?). also "my sister's keeper" really IS the saddest movie. ever. 1 extra large box of kleenex gone between me and the monkey. sheesh. what am i, a girl?! oh. right. i am. and the one who cries all the dang time.

now we're watching nickelodeon's avatar: the last airbender. i never got to see all the episodes and the ones i did see were dreadfully out of order. i love little aang. he's so darn cute.

we're supposed to be cleaning too. i officially have one drawer cleaned out. it's a start. i'll do more once monkey is off on her holiday travels. she's hard to motivate. (ok, i mean me... *hangs head*)

kick back...

and relax. as of 5pm, i was officially on my christmas vacation. i'm off until the 28th. it feels good. i need this. as soon as i hit publish on this, i'll put my sleeping companion, my best little monkey, to bed and go to mine.

dear santa, please make my house clean. i've been good this year. xoxo zeghsy

think it'll work?

p.s. marti just jumped on me. oof. fewer snacks for him.

scary...

as of december 21st, monkey and i will not be dancing. sadly the monkey hasn't been doing well in school. this is troubling when anyone who has met her knows she should be acing school. this coming semester will be a lesson in learning her priorities and (hopefully) letting everyone in her world know that she is an A student and she will get those grades. even if it means she turns off everything around her to be able to focus. i know she'll do this. she was crushed when i told her of my decision to withdraw us from dance. we did quite a bit of crying. but as a good parent, i can not let her grades go without repercussions. Ds and Fs are just not acceptable. her father is not happy. sadly it's taken this for him to become interested in her schooling. she'll still have choir, which she loves. that is the one class she's getting the most solid A i've ever seen. she's hoping to prepare a solo for the solo/ensemble concert this spring. i've suggested she ask her teacher for help with this. sadly, i'm no help when it comes to singing. we've also asked her aunt, who in high school was a star herself, and sang at my wedding when i married monkey's dad. funny, i know she sang a beatles song, i know it was so beautiful it moved me to tears, but i can't remember WHAT song it was.

what scares me is that i've been using dance as a form of therapy for me. i'm sure i'll find something else. possibly join the anytime fitness club that is in my town... but i'm finding little moments of panic when i think about it.

i'm trying to look at the silver lining. i'll be able to save some money. i won't have to buy a ballroom gown for monkey just yet. (miss princess -- different princess than our princess mikkimoto -- wants her students to compete in wisconsin state dancesport competition this april and they require actual ballroom dress for the competition.) i'm going to FINALLY clean my house of all the crap that's in it. (here's where i ask that you guys get on my case about it.) i'm going to take the opportunity to get my life in order again. sorting will help.

i hope that i can count on you all to support me and remind me i won't die without dancing. or, take me out once in a while to the dance floors around here to boogie, even for an hour or two. :D

i'm still here...

no, i haven't forgotten you. yes, i miss you too.

right now, i'm listening to lots of christmas music to get into the mood. it works... most of the time. there are a few songs that i can't listen to, i just skip that one, or play a cd instead.

last night, i made a quick present for a friend here at work. she liked it so much and had to show it off, i some how got an order for two more. and i'm getting paid! :)

today will be...

interesting. i grabbed a hot straightening iron this morning and now have a minor burn. the monkey handed it to me and i wasn't paying attention (i thought i was grabbing the brush until i realized how hot it was). and now i just had a conversation with a friend about her ex boyfriend and it brought up feelings that apparently have been simmering under the surface. i'll be fine. but i'm worried about them. for different reasons. he's fighting something that only she sees and i see her willing to lose the fight for herself. i understand why she's doing it. he needs that friend, that person who won't let him go down easy. so i'm offering my support. she needs it just as much as he does. that one extra person in their corner. except now, i just want to go home and cry for the rest of the day.

say good-bye

cute boy (aka cabana boy) has left. i think. i'm getting all sorts of information about him that definitely makes me glad nothing happened beyond some wishful thinking. it's ok. he was young. :) i never really expected anything to come of it anyway.

color me

laura coulter

i would wear black. i always wear black. it's slimming (come on, who doesn't feel they could shed a pound or two). it suits almost all occasions. it can be dressed up and be straight up classy, or it can be just as comfy and casual as can be. most of my wardrobe is already black. as a plus, i look really good in black. :) i'm lucky enough to have a skin tone that is complimented by wearing black. sadly, i will never be a blond. funny side note: i was with another stylist -- mine was attending to a family emergency, never fear, i am loyal to my bradley -- and i asked matthew about going blond. he announced there is a shade of blond for everyone. "except you." to which i giggled, and everyone else in the business in the room looked at me, and agreed.

so i wear black.

*note: i WISH i had this dress. it is fabulous!

oh boy!

so, my time off from work wasn't all that great. i ended up getting the cold that the receptionist had. figures. however, tomorrow the co-worker will be gone tomorrow through tuesday. 5 whole work days without him around. it's going to be glorious.

it's my favorite time of year

halloween.

i had to change the colors to match. :D

one day i'll learn to make my own site and actually use nifty banners and such. one day...

in case any of y'all forgot

i really don't like people. as a whole. and some specific ones. there are "persons" who's company i quite enjoy. sadly, i don't spend most of my day with them. last night, the monkey said that while she thinks working at a grocery store or restaurant (as examples) would be great experiences, she's pretty sure she would hate every moment of it, because as she puts it, she hates people, too. she made sure to put the "too" in that statement. she's so darn cute.

currently my receptionist is on my list. she's pretty much always on that list, but the last month or so, she's been #1. first she tries to spread rumors about me, now she's convinced she has the swine. lady, if you had the swine, what the h-e-double hockey sticks are you doing here? get your arse to the flippin' doctor and get your diagnosis/work excuse. quit making me sick. it's not she has to pay to visit the doctor. state health care for her, lazy cow. (trust me, i know she doesn't qualify any longer. i just haven't figured out how to have her case worker re-evaluate her case.) also, she seems to have a quack that will send in a note for her regardless if she and/or her spawn are seen by said quack.

and i'm pretty sure after today, the co-worker is #2. his presence is irritating. why can't he do more off-site visits? AND learn to understand that i don't like him that way. at all. never. ever. ever.

ugh.

because they're always 100% correct

i took a facebook quiz to find out what i should be for halloween. a princess. hmm...

so i went shopping to find a princess dress. the first one didn't fit. it really would have been perfect. instead i found a black one and a red one. both full length. both strapless. both fit pretty dang perfect. both $10 each. thank you goodwill! i called cb for assistance in choosing one, he preferred the red one, but was really no help. so i got both. they need to be cleaned. whoever wore them last used A LOT of deodorant. i mean A LOT. i don't have any parties lined up, but i like dressing up. and maybe cb will be smart and invite me to one. otherwise i have two new dresses i can use for ballroom events.

i'm hoping for a date with cb tomorrow night. i hope.

last night L-word guy tried chatting. i'm cleaning this weekend. my house this time. i don't think he liked that. then later, he sends me texts saying he's near my neck of the woods. which caused me to start thinking awful things, like him stopping by my house (for the record: he does not know where i live, just the name of the town). that made my brain kick into overdrive and this cascade of crap started coming out of it. well i nipped that in the bud. no way was i going to get mad at him for something my whacked out brain came up with. sleeping pill: 1. crazy thoughts: 0. now i just feel thick today. not hungover, with the bad gross-ness feeling. thick.

according to silver b, cb and i just need to "get it on" and i'll calm down. hello?! don't you think that's what i want to happen!?! any day now please.

let me explain...

ok. so, as you all know the senator and i are no more. it's ok. we're still pals and everything is hunky dory between us.

after that, i went on plenty of fish.com and looked around. apparently most of the guys on there (or at least the ones that messaged me) seem to think that "hi" or massively misspelled and incomplete sentences are acceptable and should have me falling at their feet. now, i don't claim to be a grammar guru, but i'm a fan of mostly proper english. or at least spell check. in any case, i managed to find a couple of guys worth replying to.

one was a dud. we met for the date (i'm glad i had to reschedule our first one -- not really worthy of dance -- is that bad? tough.). you know the music on almost every game show when you choose wrong or don't win the prize? THAT music went through my head when i saw him. bad, i know. well, i went through with it. you know, just in case. it was probably the only date i've ever been on where i thought getting home at 11pm was too late. he kept wanting to leave to go dancing somewhere. i couldn't think of anywhere he would feel comfortable. besides, it wasn't dancing he wanted to do, it was the highschool grind. bleh.

the other one (who technically was the first) was better. we clicked and have gone on a few more dates. however he was the guy who prompted this post. wants to move WAY too fast for me. which says to me, we're not getting the same thing from one another. yes, i like him. a lot. yes, i'd like to continue seeing him. but not seriously. he already threw out the "L" word.
*crickets*
... awkward ...
i've tried talking to him about how i'm feeling that he's moving faster than i'm comfortable with and that i don't feel that way about him yet. what's remained unspoken is that if he continues this way, i won't feel this way about him, ever. but it's always that next sentence. he has to know, right?

there's one more. cute boy. we've gone on a few dates. i actually started seeing him first (if we want to be technical). he makes me twitterpated. it's the best explanation for how i feel about him. i'm well aware of how goofy he makes me look. i forget to breathe around him. remember how we all used to get in school when it came to boys? he always touches my arm, plays footsie with me, or holds my hand whenever we're together. all i'm capable of is giggling and looking like a fool. he must find that endearing because he keeps calling and making dates.

i have a date with cb tonight. i have no idea what we're going to do. we've planned only one (this will be no. 4) but i'm not worried about it. i'd actually prefer to just go to his place and watch a movie, but he might not be ready for me to come over yet. we were only a few blocks from his place at our last date, no invitation was extended. we'll see i guess.

twitterpated

think bambi. cute boy (or cabana boy, as one of the mom's from dance thinks i should call him) just called me at work. for the record, THIS is how one should feel when starting out with someone. we've only gone on a few dates, and i'm aware enough that doesn't mean anything relationship-wise. (read: this post -- someone still doesn't get it.) he makes my heart race and i can't keep from blushing. today he was trying to get me to come out to where he works to fix a printer. it's not really part of my job and i have to go up front in a few minutes to cover the front desk for the afternoon. he also wants me to be his boss. again... his boss has control issues and would freak the hell out if i suddenly became cb's boss. though, well... you can guess where my head just went. *blush*

oh, one more thing...

the senator and i are kaput. princess mikkimoto and more... knew that already. from our rockin' version of blogher '09, the madison version.

it wasn't the miles between us. it was the distance. you can't shut someone out for weeks at a time and expect them to always be there. even a dog would leave. it doesn't help that i've been finding out things about him that would have made our relationship impossible, even if he was living next door. never fear, we're going to remain friends. no really. he needs someone who will stick around through his crap and i need more ppl who love me no matter what.

now it's been said. *sigh*

the one where i don't say much

so, i have lots to say. except i have a headache right now. and tap class later. ugh. i'm not really looking forward to this. i won't have time for a nap before the class. unless i lay on the floor during the yoga class i wait in the lobby for. and nap then. in the lobby of my dance studio. what? i've done it before. in the dressing room of my old ballet studio. it would be 45 min of quiet time. and oh my damn i need some of that! so yah. i'm gonna pretend i'm typing with my face for the rest of work. then go hide at the studio until the monkey gets there for her lesson. and pray for quiet.

p.s.
i just found out (via stalking his fb page, sorry) that socrates and his gf are expecting. i'm a little sad that he didn't tell me, i guess i thought we were better friends than that. and i'm a little jealous.