How Do Regular People Do This?

I spent all of last year avoiding too much "excitement". I tend to crash. Hard. They say life is a rollercoaster. Rollercoasters make me sick. Life is boring as all get-out, but the lack of nausea sometimes makes up for that. My emotions are all over the place. I have trouble remembering which way is up. Yes, I'm remembering my medication. These are the times I hang on to it like a life line. All that crap I went through before is so close I can almost touch it. And it scares the shit out of me. I need a bucket to start bailing and all I have is a cup. Where are my hip-waders? (Which by the way, I'm thinking of making fashionable. You know you'd love a hot pink pair, with say, skulls on them to be edgy. Or in a cute plaid.)

Contagious?

I would much rather have stayed at home today. Can you get a "case of the Mondays" on Sunday? I think it started then for me. Bleh. As a result, I'm in all black. Not sure what I'm mourning. It just suits my mood.

You've known me for how long?

And yet people at work still think I care about anything before 9:30am. Seriously? Dude, I don't care about the gossip you feel you need to share with me before you've even taken off your coat. You were late, and I was early. Let's focus on that. Or how about y'all not crack wise to me? You're not funny at 2:30pm. You're even less funny at 8:50am. Let me finish my chai, ignore the fuck out of you, and go about my morning in peace.

And where are all the guns?

What the hey?! I'm starting to rethink this whole idea of getting back into dating. Apparently I'm having the darnedest time find someone decent and works similar hours to me. The latest one and I talked a good long time before we got around to even making a date. But he manages a bar/restaurant meaning he works most nights and every weekend. I was supposed to meet him after work yesterday, but I slept through it. I didn't mean to. I even set an alarm. But at 1am, I don't function so well when I have to get up at 6:30am. *sigh*

Wha?

I let my guard down for five minutes and someone comes in a kicks me right in the ego. The last year, I have spent my time doing things I wanted to do, making sacrifices only I felt truly necessary (close friends and family). He came to me timidly, seeming very sweet and kind. He's a gentleman. He treated me with nothing but kindness and understanding. Sadly, he has already given up on "us". Not even a first date to have gone wrong. We work differing hours and he felt it would be too hard to see each other. Yes, I had to pick my jaw up too. Even when I've dated people who work the same hours as me, I've had trouble seeing them all the time. I do things after work. Monkey has ballroom and other activities. My feelings are hurt. He was the first guy in a long time I've bothered to put any effort in. But I draw the line at putting all the effort and getting none in return. *sigh*

So you want to make a resolution

There has been a lot of talk about resolutions lately. None of it from me. Usually, I don't make them for myself. The things I've always thought I should change about me I figured I change them or I wouldn't. A resolution wouldn't make me do it any more or less than deciding mid-year to make a change. However, I'm picking the beginning of the new year to make this change. I want to be healthier, better. To do that, I have to start with my space. It will start small, but I intend to make my space mine. I've been in my house for over 6 years and not once have I felt comfortable having guests over or really felt like it was my home. I'm changing that. I know me though. I may want it done by the end of the week, but if I can't do it "the right way" I won't do it. I'm going to focus on the small things I can do and gradually make them bigger until one day I look around here and proudly say, "Sure stop by whenever," and NOT cringe.

I may be small now, but I'll get bigger one day.

Nix the snowday plans

No staying in pajamas until 2pm. No "helping" Papa shovel the driveway. No making snowmen in the backyard. No hot cocoa with marshmallows falling out of the cup.

We got up and made it to work and school this morning on time. Here's hoping the drive home is as easy as the drive to work was this morning. Thank you Dane County road crews for doing such a wonderful job cleaning the roads. Even my little street in Oregon was plowed a few times before I left. Even during the snow last night, I could tell the roads were being taken care of. Thank you!

Get me outta here!

Today is spiraling from bad to worse. I'm not sure what to do to stop it either. It's more than I'm willing to share here currently, but suffice it to say, work is not helping. The co-worker is workin' my last nerve, just with his very presence. The other one isn't doing much better. I'm definitely in need of the break from here I have coming up. And for that, fingers crossed for a snow day tomorrow.

Yes it snowed. That's what it does here.

My lovely friend, Princess Mikkimoto, has offered some thoughts on driving in our area in this snowy season. She's right, it isn't winter yet. Quit whining. It's Wisconsin, what do you expect?

I would like to offer that some of that white stuff on the road is neither snow nor ice. It's actually salt. If it is white in appearance, it is safe to drive the speed limit on. If that is not to your liking, get the hell out of the left lane. Better yet, if you're too scared to drive the speed limit on almost all of the roads currently, stay home. You're sure to NOT be eaten by a snow bank monster then. Also, if the road is straight and you're not anticipating a turn in the next 6 miles, you can go a bit faster (this is not permission to speed), as 25 in a 55 is a tad on the poky side.

What to wear v. What not to wear

I knew I should have looked through my closet last night. I'd like to go to a fancy dress party tomorrow night with Monkey. She's set. Me, I'm not sure what I'm going to wear. The dresses I have, I've already worn the heck out of. I want something new. I've found a pretty wine colored one online, but will they have it in the store when I get there tonight? That's the real question.

I'm new and old fashioned all rolled into one gal

Get rid of my books? Not hardly!

book shelf project 1 ~ striatic {notes}

I have an e-reader already. After a fashion. I have an iPod Touch with all the e-reader apps on it. I get the free books, so I always have something to read. Growing up as a librarian's daughter, a book always lived in my bag. Now it's just a lot lighter. I still read paper books. You can't get an author or illustrator (Mom's a children's librarian) to sign your e-book. A real book is a much more fun way to receive a gift. I love the convenience of having e-books though. I will never get rid of my books, it's sentimental for too many. But I won't say "never".

Gettin' In The Mood (for Christmas)

Tonight is the rescheduled holiday performance for Monkey's dance studio. Now, instead of eating lunch leisurely and getting her hair and make-up ready at home, we have to cram dinner/hair/make-up/driving to the auditorium into less than an hour. Thankfully, I have all her dance things with me.

I am excited to see the kids do their swing on stage. That will be fun.

*Update: Monkey's partner (T1) wasn't able to make it last night due to prior sports scheduling. His brother (T2) was injured so his partner (A) never came. We didn't get the message until I had pulled in the parking lot of the auditorium. The other couple in the class T3 and M were there, but I'm not sure what they did.

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

Who here remembers the Pizza Pit tv ad (that they still air, YAY!) with the toy car and the kids singing "Let it snow"? Because of this weather, that's what's going through my head.

I'm sitting in bed, watching it snow out my window, thankful that Monkey's dance performance for this afternoon has been postponed until tomorrow night. Marti is curled up RIGHT behind my laptop (to enjoy the heat coming off it) -- he must be chasing something in is sleep, he's twitching something fierce.

I'm working on a new hat for Nana. Her actual Christmas present is finished, though I need to figure out how to wrap it. She bought a hat a few years ago from Urban Outfitters and it has since stretched out so bad that her glasses are the only thing that keeps it from covering her eyes. Bad design or poor quality. I've also never seen a hat that needed elastic in the brim of a knitted hat. Is that something that's is usual?

While I wait for Monkey to come home from her dad's, I've been watching movies. Last night was Inception (really well done!) and Assassination of a High School President (Patrick plays the president; is a family friend of my boss -- and he's such a cutie). Now to another movie.

Early onset?

I miss my blog. I remember the good times when I had something witty and cute to say. Or when I had something to vent about and the internet patted me on the back and said that everything would be ok. I miss that. Now I can't remember the cute things my kid does more than 10 minutes after Monkey does them. It's sad.

You can tell it's time for the Winter Choir concert

Why? Because it's flipping snowing. I would like to lodge a formal complaint with Mother Nature. WHY does she always have our first snow storm of the season either right before or the day of Monkey's winter choir concert? One year it was so bad, it was canceled. Last year, I almost missed the concert because of the weather (and stupid drivers, but that's a whole other post). We have four more years of choir. Could ONE of those not have a damn storm for the winter concert? Is that really too much to ask? This year, I wised up. I took a half day of vacation for the concert. That should guarantee that I get home in time for the concert.