need. caffeine. badly.

not that i'm overly tired... i just feel drained. like i could sleep for days. or it has everything to do with the fact that i've seen the sun for about 5 minutes in the last 3 days. and tomorrow it's supposed to snow?! what the fuck is that all about? sheesh.

what weird? here's for weird. a year and a half ago, i wanted my ex-bf and his new (not sposed to be) gf so gone from my life i occasionally wished them dead. hey, i admit i was wrong and super messed up about it. well a year ago, i made the decision to just deal with them since they obviously weren't leaving my life. i was going to make the best of a bad situation. last week, i hung out with them. with alcohol. no one died. no one even got mildly upset. this weekend? i'm going to borrow a dress of hers for a dance thing i'm going to. (my clothes aren't fitting the wrong way. it upsets me. i don't want to wear the ONE dress i have that fits and i don't have a new dress in my budget.) we're a similar size, i'm about 4 or 5 inches taller than she is. this is totally weird for me. i'm littered with bruises from trying to wake myself from the dream. but obviously i'm not dreaming.

*dazed*

hi internet. i've missed you. not that i've been gone, just hermit-ing. there's a funk that overtakes me from thanksgiving to valentine's day and i never really get out of it until st. patrick's day. that's over. i think. (never say never, right?) i'm back, -ish. at least i'm back to letting y'all know how irritating certain people are. (see previous post.)

you can call me...

when "dances with wolves" came out, my brother announced that my indian name would be 'needs a job'. i was in high school and between jobs. i told him he was funny and would now be known as 'gets beat up by his sister'. yep, he got a pounding that day.

die die die!

little bitch wanker fucking douche bag of a co-worker.

oh my

there's just something about this one... i think it's susan sarandon's response of "oh my" after he's done. it's just good.

"well, i believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of susan sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. i believe lee harvey oswald acted alone. i believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. i believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents christmas morning rather than christmas eve and i believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." -crash davis

bumper sticker for the day

i saw this on a big ol' truck this morning on my drive into work.

firemen
find 'em hot, leave 'em wet

HAHAHA!!!

i'm such a 12 year old horn-dog today. we all know what that means.

holy creepiness dude!

valentine wedding present cake by Manassas Cakery

a former friend showed up at my dance studio one evening in september last year. i hadn't spoken to him (email, text msging, in person) in around 6 months and he just shows up. with a birthday present for me. my birthday is in june. he brought me a hello kitty necklace. i love hello kitty, so at least he had been paying attention. though i already had that one. it still sits in the box he gave it to me in. i won't wear it. i stopped talking to him because his behavior was making me uncomfortable. case in point, showing up, uninvited, to my dance studio. i haven't talked to him since. he did approach me once at a bar while i was with friends. he asked to speak to me and i let him know anything he wanted to say could be said in front of my friends (no way was i leaving with him). he found this unacceptable and stormed off. needless to say, i don't miss him. he creeps me out. ick.

my fear of public speaking

i haven't passed a single speech class. i hate having to speak publicly. i feel as though i start talking and stop making any sense or even following the topic i was speaking about. i ramble. everywhere. we lovingly call it "tangentialistic". i claim the word. i have a flag. do you have a flag? no, then it's mine.

my favorite room

Ballet Dancing by Tommy Wong (Tom@HK)

ok. yes, i'm a dork. but i feel most at home and comfortable at the studio. i love dancing so much. recently, i spent more waking hours at the studio than at home. it was just the most comfortable place i knew.

In defense of my vice: dancing

Tango Lessons in the Living Room by mrk_photo

i started ballet when i was 5. my mom had taken me to see the nutcracker and i fell in love. i wanted to be the sugar plum fairy. she was so awesome. fast forward to age 13 (where everyone gets stupid) and i decide i don't want to dance anymore. (dumb dumb dumb.) fast forward some more to 34 and i finally talk a boyfriend into taking ballroom lessons with me. dump him, but continue the lessons on my own. i'm addicted. and i'm not quitting. ever. it is the air i breathe, my expression, my life. never quitting. nope. never.

edit: dang it plinky. this is posted twice. grr!

In defense of my vice: dancing

Tango Lessons in the Living Room by mrk_photo

i started ballet when i was 5. my mom had taken me to see the nutcracker and i fell in love. i wanted to be the sugar plum fairy. she was so awesome. fast forward to age 13 (where everyone gets stupid) and i decide i don't want to dance anymore. (dumb dumb dumb.) fast forward some more to 34 and i finally talk a boyfriend into taking ballroom lessons with me. dump him, but continue the lessons on my own. i'm addicted. and i'm not quitting. ever. it is the air i breathe, my expression, my life. never quitting. nope. never.

DONE

my taxes are done. i have a headache. i'm going to go treat myself to a nice venti chai latte. with extra cinnamon.

Why I gave up on "the violin, anne rice"

i have no idea. i love all her other books. my bil gave it too me for christmas one year, i've diligently chipped away at it. all her other books, i've flown through. this one just doesn't hold my attention. i'm so sorry, ms. rice.

If I had easy access to a helicopter, I'd fly to savannah, ga this weekend

i've never lived there. only visited once. but it's home. the senator lives there and it feels like home to me.

weird but good combo #3

celery sticks and salmon cream cheese.

no, i'm not pregnant. i eat much more normal when i'm pregnant.